The CDC Is Asking People to Stop Washing & Reusing Condoms
The CDC recently posted a tweet asking people to stop washing and reusing condoms. I’m going to need for everyone reading this post to stop what you’re doing, grab a chair and listen carefully for what I’m going to say here. If you cannot afford to buy additional condoms to have sex with you sure as hell won’t be able to afford the child you have when the reused condom breaks or worse, good luck with whatever you catch when fluids start seeping out.
— CDC STD (@CDCSTD) July 23, 2018
While this may appear to be common sense, common sense isn’t so common. According to the CDC, 1.4 and 3.3 percent of people have admitted to reusing the same condom during sex. For those who missed sex education, for each sex act, vaginal and whatever other oriface warrants a new condom. “We say it because people do it: Don’t wash or reuse #condoms! Use a fresh one for each #sex act” they tweeted. Now another segment of the population apparently is washing and reusing condoms. “Incorrect use, such as reusing a condom or using more than one at a time, diminishes the protective effect of condoms by leading to condom breakage, slippage, or leakage,” Dr. Elizabeth Torrone, an epidemiologist at the CDC’s Division of STD Prevention says. I would like to know which of you nasty motherf*ckers are washing condoms along with your zip codes so I can warn all in your vicinity. The woman who climbed the Empire State Building did a press conference today where she wrote a song where she shouted “America, you motherf*ckers.” I asked who was she was calling a mother f*cker. Clearly she was talking to degenerates washing their condoms.
As crazy as this seems, there actually is a slight precedent for this thought process. Back when this country was founded in the 18th century, condoms were made of animal guts, leather and chemically treated linen and considering none of us were likely around and sexually active back then, the old school condom wash and wear method will not be grandfathered in as an excuse. While I’m happy that you’re using protection, I’m going to need for you to learn how to do so the proper way or at least pretend you care about the other person’s well being. We’re always hearing from Bernie Sanders “Sweden! Sweden! We need to be more like Sweden!” Well in Sweden, after the 8th grade, further education is optional and only an 8th grader could think a clothes line full of condoms to reuse every week is a good idea. And when the Democratic Socialists take over America and they have to decide which segment of the population they have to kill off to keep their social programs going, I’m going to pray that the condom wash and reusers are first. If any of you have any questions about how to use a condom, please read the following from the CDC.
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